I’ve always been a really happy person, an overly positive person, a fun/busy social person… until September, 2014.
That month marked one year that my husband and I had been trying to get pregnant, unsuccessfully. That month screamed at us that it was time to find out what was wrong with us… who had the problem preventing us from conceiving? Was it him? Was something wrong with me? That month scared us. We thought we’d be pregnant by now… we were still in our 20s (which everything we read said it’s easiest to conceive before you’re 30)… And on top of that, my sisters THINK about getting pregnant and it happens. I’m not kidding. First try… for all 6 of my nieces and nephews. So, of course I would be the same as them – right?!? So we shouldn’t “try” until we were 150% ready because it was obviously going to happen right away… Wrong. So very very wrong.
My husband and I were married in December of 2012. I was 27 and he was 28, but we weren’t in a hurry to start our family right away. We wanted to enjoy being married first… travel, go on dates and hit the town, spend money on US… basically be a little selfish… before we started thinking of bringing a child into this world. So that’s what we did! We had FUN!! We traveled, we lived it up, we enjoyed each other! And then it hit me when I turned 28 — in 2 short years I would be 30 and my husband 31. We were together for 4 years before tying the knot, so we asked ourselves – “what ARE we waiting for?”… We don’t want to wait TOO long… So we put it off a little longer, and decided to start trying in September of 2013. 10 months after marriage bliss. We made this decision on a fun weekend getaway in Arizona! And we were EXCITED! And scared… but mainly excited! I mean, this was a big decision – we are starting OUR family… oh my gosh, we are going to have a baby… 3 months in and we’re thinking, will we have a boy or a girl? Should we start thinking about names? But 6 months later and still not pregnant… So after doing some informational reading, I start thinking – it must be our habits. Let’s work on getting healthier! Okay… doing those things, NOW it will happen!… Then we hit 9 months, and aunt flow still arrived like clock-work. So we started using those ovulation predictors (which I hate by the way, really kinda takes the “fun” out of making love…)… Okay, we can determine when I’m ovulating, so it will happen NOW! But nope, 12 months of trying and not pregnant. This is when we start looking at each other weird… not saying anything but we know what the other person is thinking… is something wrong with me, or is it him/her?
I gave my husband these red socks on our wedding day with my letter to him. On the letter I wrote, p.s. In case you get cold feet! 🙂